No matter what kind of loss, I am sure I can speak for most, it forces one to reflect and reevaluate life. 

Loss changed everything for me. Everything as I knew it has changed. It is scary. I did not choose it but I am embarking on a new chapter in my life and doing my best to consciously create the best life for Kenny and I.

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Teresia Larocque

Live Life Fully

Live Life Fully

Accept opportunities to live life fully.

Create opportunities to live life fully.

The day after I received confirmation that I had access to the Aeroplan points that Brian and I were saving through his credit card for an international trip, (when your partner passes away and you want access to points that are in their name, it has to go into an estate account and you have two choices; pay a cent per point or use the points within a year. Neither was ideal but I chose to use them within a year, having no idea at the time how we might do that) but then..... just a day after I received an email confirming the transfer of the points a good friend of mine, Lucila and her husband invited Kenny and I to visit their family during their one year sabbatical in Provence - their year of living life fully!

I knew this trip was divinely orchestrated, I immediately said yes.

Since Brian’s passing, I do not always have the energy or heart to live life fully but I know I must.

I know life can change in a moment.

I know we only have this one life to live.

I know taking one step towards joy, creates more pockets of joy.

I know I have a son watching me and depending on me.

Brian loved traveling. He had made a handful of trips to Europe with friends. My first and only time traveling to Europe was with Brian. In 2002, we spent 5 weeks exploring southern France, making our way to Normandy beach (Brian was like a child on Christmas morning immersed in the events of world war 2 - he was a war buff) and finally Paris and London.

We were going to go back - we have fond memories, especially of the South of France. Brian would talk to Kenny about the fastest trains in the world: "Kenny, you, your mom and I are going to get on a big plane and fly to Paris and from there we are going to ride in one of the fastest high speed trains in the world." Sharing this with Kenny was on Brian's bucket list. Brian was fascinated will all types of transportation and Kenny is proving to follow in his footsteps.

I made sure that part of our travels to Provence included us taking the TGV Duplex train from Paris to Avignon.

I know doing this trip without Brian will be hard. I am learning to accept that my pockets of joy are often met with deep sadness.

But I know the pockets of joy that come with spending quality time with a friend that stirs and nurtures my soul, that learning and sharing experiences with her adventurous, loving family, and creating special memories with my son and people I love, will not only lighten the weight of grief but pave the way for a once again fulfilling life.

It is not always easy but loss has reawakened within me the value of living life fully and the internal commitment to make it happen.

Don't wait to live life fully.

Life can change in a moment.

What might be on your bucket list?

What might be your next step to live life fully?

Accept opportunities to live life fully.

Create opportunities to live life fully.

I thank Lucila and her family for extending the invitation to join them and live life fully when I might not have had it in me to do so.

Will you also dare with me?

Will you also dare with me?

I will be relocating to Ottawa.

I will be relocating to Ottawa.